


New Uniforms, Patent Pending

by orphan_account



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: A bit of a breather during the zombie apocalypse, Based on a drawing I did, M/M, Mainly to see Jack in hot pants, just something silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:33:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eugene thinks this may possibly be Jack's best and worst idea all rolled into one. But then again, a prank on Sam has never turned out this spectacularly well, so he must give credit where it's due.</p><p>An Operator!Eugene and Runner!Jack AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Uniforms, Patent Pending

“No. Absolutely not.” Sam says when they walk into the Comms Shack- which is less of a shack these days and more or an actual building. With solid walls of all things. Who would’ve thought? Soon they’ll be in recliners with steaming mugs of tea for their broadcasts, that’ll be the day. Eugene and Sam lounging all day, directing their expanded troupe of runners throughout the country like a couple of kings. For now he’ll settle with a chair that he can sit in without it falling apart under him if he shifts ever so slightly to the right.

“What crawled up yours Sam?” Jack asks, somehow keeping a straight face.

“You are not wearing that out of Abel. Or-or out anywhere!

“And why not, dear friend?” Jack looks down at his getup, which is the tightest tank top he could get onto himself without having to have it cut off of him. And the shorts- well, short is the word. They cover the curve of his ass- but only just, and they end only an inch and a half below his crotch. It’s, well it’s ridiculous. Even more so is how much Jack struts around when he’s wearing it, as if showing off the lean muscle his rigorous runner training program has given him. Not that Eugene doesn’t also appreciate it, because oh dear God he does. Especially those legs- those thick, powerful thighs and strong, corded calf muscles. And he doesn’t particularly like sharing all these nice and pleasant little bits of Jack, but he does enjoy seeing Jack look so happy, so glad to be useful and successful. And seeing Sam all flustered is a nice little bonus.

“Why not? Why not! Where should I start? How about the absurd amount of exposed skin- exposed to scratches or bites? Or the fact I can barely read the number that’s scrawled on your shirt in what I’m guessing is magic marker? And, oh yeah, how did I forget, that’s not even close to the uniform kit of the Runner Network?”

“Which is what? Anything that resembles a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt with a number on it written in- what- magic marker?”

“Eugene, tell me you don’t like this.” Sam pleads, “knock some sense into this idiot you call a boyfriend.”

“Who am I to tell him what and what not to wear?” Eugene says, despite that he’s the one who designed the outfit, under the guidance of his partner, of course. And while Jack may have pioneered the idea that “wouldn’t it be absolutely hilarious to see how much skin I can flash during my first supply run? You know, as a real runner: headset and everything?”

Sam is wringing his hands through his hair in frustration, “Janine! You’re the sensible one. Tell him he can’t do this.”

Janine pops out from where she’s messing around with some wiring underneath a table. “Do what?” She regards Jack’s get up with a sharp look, peering over the top of the table. His partner has the audacity to spin in a circle for her- and it takes all of Eugene’s willpower to keep from bursting into laughter. “I don’t see why not. No loose fabric for zoms to grab onto- trainers tied tight, no chance of falling off.”

“Oh no- no don’t tell me you’re okay with this...”

“Besides,” is that a grin? On Janine? “It makes his ass look good, doesn’t it, Mr. Woods?”

Sam is red, bright red. Whether it’s due to anger or embarrassment is difficult to say. “And the Major? She can’t possibly be okay with this-”

“Ah, Sam, talking of me are you? Good things I hope.” Her familiar, authoritative voice rings out into the Comms Station, and how is it that she’s always popping up when her name’s heard? It’s like some Bloody Mary trick- say “The Major” five times into an opened can of spam and she’ll appear behind you. “Oh good. Jack’s in uniform. Turned out well, didn’t it boys”

“Yes Ma’am.” Jack tells her, the grin on his face becoming somehow even wider.

“WHAT!” Sam is shocked, stunned, frozen- Eugene could come up with half a dozen more ways to describe the look of surprise and horror that’s dawning on the Operator’s face. “You- you approve of this?”

“Approve of it? I headed this project. About time we got some standard gear for our folks on the ground. Aerodynamic, not going to catch or snag on any obstacle or the undead.”

“Don’t worry Sam,” Jack chimes in, “I’m sure Runner Five will have one of their own in the next few weeks or so.”

“Fit, that one,” Eugene adds, “It’ll be very flattering, I’m sure.”

Sam’s face has drained from bright red to ghostly pale in seconds.

* * *

 


End file.
